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My Spiritual Journey S5-E2 The White Light

I woke up the morning after my Empath course ready to dive into my spiritual growth group. I was excited. Most of all I was excited to learn Reiki. What was my future to hold? All day long my mind would not stop with thoughts, images and ideas. I decided tonight would be the night I did my first meditation. It’s funny I used to kind of laugh and smile to myself when I saw people meditating. Almost as if thinking, “What actually goes on behind those closed eyes. What are they seeing and thinking that could keep them sitting so still for so long? I have children and I am on the go non stop, as if my brain will let me relax.”

That night after the kids were in bed, I sat on my bed with a white candle lit for protection, put on some meditation music and read through my meditation guide. Well this was a load of crap! How the hell was I supposed to meditate when I have to read from a guide…. not so calming and relaxing. I gave up and went to bed. That very night I had a dream. I dreamt of a family member double fisting two bottles of Jack Daniels into his mouth but the weird thing was he had no mouth…. Now when I dream, I never remember my dreams unless they are premonitions. The odd thing as well is I have never met this family member in person. Only through contact on Facebook. I woke up with a horrible gut sinking feeling. I knew this dream meant something but what. I felt I had to do something with it. I called my mom. I told her of my dream. She as well did not have a good feeling. So, we went onto Facebook to check out his page. Now this family member usually posts every morning thanking life and sending loving thoughts to his family. This particular morning there was nothing. We sat and waited.

After a few days my mom posted on his page if anyone had heard from him. Nothing. No one had heard a word. After a few more days people started panicking. |It was not like him to be so quiet. We had people call his work, check his apartment…nothing. He was just gone. I messaged his sister and told her of my dream feeling overwhelmingly concerned. Finally, almost two weeks later his friend popped up and said that our family member was on a “vacation” and would let everyone know when he was back. I finally felt relief as this ate at me everyday. To have such a powerful dream but not know what to do with it. Just after two weeks our family member popped on Facebook and thanked everyone for the concerns but that he was back. I instantly privately messaged him and told him of my dream. His words were, “your dream probably saved my life.” I did not understand…. He then sent me a picture from that night of the dream. There in the photo was two bottles of Jack Daniel’s sitting on his coffee table. He had fell off the wagon and left to get help. Wow…. how was my dream so accurate…? I instantly called my mom and told her of the photo he sent. How was it possible to have such a forewarning and connection with someone in another province who I had never met….

Feeling relieved the next day and feeling in a pretty good head space I thought, “Okay! Tonight, is the night I am going to meditate! And it will be successful! After a busy day I got to it. I lit my white candle and this time I put a guided meditation on from You tube. Nothing…absolutely nothing! I could not quiet my mind! I kept thinking about the kids and what I had to do for the day. Frustrating. I then decided to get Derek on board and put some meditation music on and thought if I can get him to do the guided meditation, I had read the night before with me reading it out loud maybe I will memorize it. So away we went. I read the steps out to Derek and tried to get him to ground himself and meditate. He as well had a hard time getting into it. Now this was all new to us and I knew it was not going to happen overnight. I would just have to keep at it. I don’t know what I was expecting really or what I was looking for but I wanted whatever kept others meditating for long periods of time to happen to me! I wanted to see what they saw! Then the next night is when it changed meditation for me forever. I saw the light.

This particular night I sat in the living room. I put my salt lamp on. I lit my candle. I called upon my angels of the highest vibrations, my guardian angels of the highest vibration, my spirit guides of the highest vibration, and my creator to come down and surround me with their white protective light and to keep me guided, grounded, guarded and protected and to help me see what I was supposed to see. I sat there for about ten minutes just letting my mind wander. Then I noticed it was if I was looking beyond the back of my eyelids. As if from my forehead I was looking from. Was this my Third Eye? I was seeing beyond the darkness. I saw an orb of blue light swirl down. It was beautiful. It was calm. It was peaceful. I then saw the green squiggle move across my eyesight. A beautiful ocean wave was crashing with white foam on the top of it. It was if I was standing at the foot of the ocean. I could hear the waves crash; I could feel the ocean breeze and I could smell the ocean water. Bizarre I know as I have never been to the ocean. But somehow it felt familiar to me. As if I had been there before. Then it was darkness again and I saw a beautiful purple butterfly flutter across the darkness. I wanted to stay but I had pressure in my forehead and I lost my concentration. I was pulled out of my meditation. I grabbed a notebook and started writing what I saw and then googled the shit out of every meaning.

I told Derek of my meditation and could not wait again until night time to do it again. Sure, enough nothing. My mind would not take me back there. Talk about frustrating. This carried on for about a week. I wanted so badly to get back beyond the backs of my eye lids and see what was out there. I felt like giving up. This was too hard and mentally exhausting. So, I thought I will give it one last honest try as maybe meditation was not for me. I lit my candle. I turned on my salt lamp and I called upon my highest vibrations and my creator. I shut my eyes and there it was again! I was looking beyond my forehead! I saw a white flash of light a little orb. Almost signaling me that we were about to begin. I saw the ocean again. I was at the ocean again. I could hear it, feel it and smell it again. It was beautiful. I asked for what it was I needed to know. That’s when I saw it. It felt it. The most beautiful and amazing experience of my life up until this time.

As my palms were turned up in the receiving position, I felt a warmness take over my left palm. In my minds eye I could see a ball of white light sitting in it outlined in gold. It was so beautiful. So warm. So, comforting. I held it there for minutes on end watching it. It radiated warmth throughout my whole body. But what do I do with it I thought? What was the meaning of this ball of white light? I don’t know exactly how much longer I held it for but I finally opened my eyes and started to google meanings again. I stumbled across an article of seeing a ball of white light during meditation. I found several articles describing the white light indicating it was the opening of the third eye. That you are transcending from your physical consciousness and between the two planes. I also stumbled across an article about a ball of white light in your palm. It stated that you could turn it and send it into your body. Well I wish I would have known when this happened because as of to this date, I have never held that white ball gain but continuously see the white lights in my minds eye. They start off as a pin prick of white light and then become bigger and move freely in my minds eye. This is now usually a sign for me, letting me recognize my Reiki is starting to flow into my client’s body. Once I see this light, I know it is time to begin and then all of the other beautiful colors start flowing; white, green, indigo blue, violet, yellow, red and black.

My meditations from there on out have helped me make life crucial decisions. In these meditations I have seen passed friend and loved ones and have heard their voices guiding me. It may sound crazy I know but the decisions I have made after having these meditations have been the best decisions for my family. The most beautiful part about it all is my husband and family supported me on these decisions after what I told them I saw and was told and they never even questioned it.

After the success of these meditations I started going to my spiritual growth group and I continued to blossom my mind and found one of my beautiful gifts. The gift of seeing some’s past life and sometimes past lives.


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