It was in our new house I mentioned all of our vibrational levels were opened. This came in many forms. From seeing more spirit, to hearing spirit and opening ourselves up more to receiving. I had continued searching for what I wanted to do. I knew it had to be with healing but I didn’t know what it was.
Derek had just gotten home from working up North and I was sitting in the local laundry matt one evening washing his coveralls. I love the smell of grease and invert. It reminds me of when I was a child and my dad Tom was home from work. To me it’s the smell of love and hard work. Anyways there was not much to do at the laundry matt so I was scrolling on my phone and decided to look up healing energy. That’s when I saw it. It was like a surge of pure positive energy flowing through my veins. It made me emotional. I saw an add for a Reiki course. I knew this was it! I knew this is what I wanted to do! I had to do it! I felt a pull to reconnect with my grandmothers before me and this was my first step! I was so excited I called my mom Rose who was working up north in camp and told her I finally found what I needed to do! She was very excited for me and encouraged me to move forward with it.
When I was finished at the laundry matt I excitedly came home and told Derek what I wanted to do. The excitement was bigger than me and I could barley explain to him what I wanted to do. Ha ha. But being the loving husband that Derek is he told me to go for it with no questions asked. So once again I got online and started searching for a Reiki teacher. But it could not just be any Reiki teacher. It had to be someone I felt connected to. And I was very leery of the quality a full Reiki course online for $50.00 would provide. Of course, I was not finding anyone I felt connected too. But there was someone I knew who owned a metaphysical shop so I contacted them and they stated yes, they did offer Reiki. I just so happened this person was offering an Empath course. I was not sure one hundred percent what this was at this time but I knew I was excited to take it.
The day came to take my course. I was so nervous. I had gone from being such a social butterfly and so out going over the years that I had now become an introvert. I always felt drained being around groups of people, felt way to emotional and judged as an individual. I am a pretty good judge of character as well as my mom and dad. I just found it easier to have only a couple good friends and then I was not involved in the drama as well I felt my life had become quite private. All I needed and wanted was my family and my couple close friends who were like family. I felt like cancelling many times that morning and making up an excuse not to go. But something in the back of my mind kept pushing me forward.
I pulled up to the location of my course. I sat in my car feeling nauseated and unsure of myself. I finally took a deep breath, grabbed my purse and my notebook and got out of my car. I remember it was a clear crisp day. The air was so fresh I could feel it running through my body as I breathed in. It was a welcoming feeling as if it was a fresh start. I had been through so much over the past years and in such a dark hole that I felt maybe…just maybe I was finally coming up to the surface.
I walked up to the building. I stopped at the door and placed my hand on the door knob. Inside I knew that once I opened that door my life would be forever changed…. but how. I once again took a deep breath and pushed the door open. Inside was a small group of women. I did not know a single soul in there. Everyone smiled and said, “Hello.” I put my head down awkwardly said, Hello” back. I just wanted to turn and run. I grabbed a chair and sat at the front of the room at a table and sat silently by myself. The instructor introduced herself and had us go around the room introducing ourselves. I could feel the heat rising from my chest, up to my neck and brightening my cheeks. I awkwardly introduced myself and again sat silently wondering what I got myself into. The instructor began to explain what an empath was. Well holly crap my eyes were opened! Sensitive to others energy, feelings and emotions, introverted, feeling exhausted and drained after being around groups of people or energy sucking people, being intuitive and so much more! I had come to the right place.
I felt as if I was in a group of other people who were experiencing the same experience as me. After all these years it finally made sense to me why I was the way I was. Why I felt the way I did. Why I would be become so emotional and feel my emotions right in the core of my heart. I was an empath. We began learning how to ground ourselves (this was new to me). While sitting there with my eyes closed listening to the guided grounding I felt a sudden intense pressure in my forehead and pulsating pressure in my ears. I felt hot. I started seeing a white light with my eyes closed. What the hell was happening?! After a second of panicking I realized I loved this feeling and wanted more of it! It felt comforting, calming and familiar. I felt I was ready to jump into something not knowing what, refreshed and powerful. I felt over stimulated and emotional all at the same time. Relieved that I finally understood why I was the way I was. And here I was with other people who were just like me!
After going through explanations of being an empath and learning tips and tricks to overcome our feelings and emotions while taking control of them I felt that this was a new start. I felt I must continue to practice controlling the empathic emotions and feelings and I would be just fine. I felt as if a wall had come down. Inside I was so emotional with finally realising that’s why I was the way I was. I now had an explanation and I was excited to learn more. I also felt I needed an emotional release as soon as I could get it.
After my course, I picked up my kids from my dads, went home, got them situated and busy and went and laid down on my bed and cried. It felt so good to release the emotions that got stirred up. I only cried for a few moments but it felt like I had cried for a life time. I felt exhausted, refreshed and renewed all at once. I felt calmed in my mind and in my heart. I was ready to start working on myself and start my spiritual journey from the inside.
I was invited to join a spiritual growth group. I was excited about this. And began to really dive into what was to unfold for me spiritually. It was the beginning of a life changing lifestyle, thought process and overall bliss and happiness to come.