The day was finally here. I was off to St. Albert for my Level One Usui Reiki Course. I was about to meet The Timmie Horvath. I know everyone in the vehicle was bouncing off of my excitement. Its amazing how one can spread energy to others. I was so nervous with excitement. I just knew this was my calling. I knew my life would change forever for the positive and that means it would also change my families lives for the better. I jumped out of the truck and almost ran up the sidewalk to Timmie’s door. When she answered it and I saw her face and her smile I felt the instant connection. This would be the woman to open up my future and teach me.
Learning from Timmie was an amazing experience. I felt at home. I was intrigued. I learned so much about Reiki, herself and myself. My first course I learned about the history of Reiki and I learned how to self heal. This hit me like a ton of bricks emotionally and mentally. I needed this. I needed to go home and do this! At the end of the course I received my level 1 attunement. Wow! Wow! Wow! There was nothing like it! I felt complete bliss, calm, love, peacefulness and happiness all in one! How could this woman make me feel this way? How could the attunement make me feel this way!? I felt my energy level had been risen. And that is exactly what it was doing! With each attunement your vibrational level is risen. It was beautiful…just beautiful! We were together for the full day and I received my certificate. I could not wait to book in for level 2 and learn more from Timmie! I also had a lot of work to do at home. I had to study my manual and I had to practice. I had also learned how to preform Reiki on other people, so I was going to practice on my family.
My husband picked me up and I had the worst headache ever. I felt light headed, floaty and spacey. Maybe I needed to eat? By the time I got home I was exhausted. I needed to rid my headache. Every few days I had a different sensation. I was sad, I was agitated, I was nauseated, I was happy etc. The roller coaster was insane. I had to finally reach out to Timmie and ask what the heck was going on! She explained that I was very sensitive to energy and with my vibrational level being risen my body was adjusting as if a detox. Later as I read through the manual it actually stated that for so many days a person’s body could go through many changes. This was just mind blowing for me. But I loved it and embraced it as it was telling me this is working.
That first night home I ran a bath. Lit some candles, dimmed the lights. Played a grounding guided meditation and then some Reiki healing music. I called upon all of my highest vibrations and began my first healing session on myself. It was beautiful. I waited until I saw my pin prick of white light in my minds eye and then began. The colors I saw were beyond beautiful. White, green, blue, indigo blue, violet, yellow and red. With every new hand placement, I saw new colors. I watched them swirl, glide and spin down. It was just beautiful! When I was all finished, I felt so relaxed. I felt happy, content and ready to sleep for days. I got out of the tub and Derek asked me how it went. I explained everything to him and I could not wait to work on him and the kids to have them experience it. He was so happy for me. That night he continually commented on the heat coming from my hands. This now is the norm for me. My neighbour commented tonight while standing beside me that she could feel the heat coming from my body.
That next morning, I was laying in my bed eyes not open yet. I said to myself, “Today I forgive myself. Today I move on from the guilt I carried of my brother John’s death. You see what I had not shared with you is at the time of my brother’s death we had not talked for over a month. The guilt had eaten me alive. How stupid that we had gone that long without talking. I carried that guilt for almost five years. Guilt that took me to a dark place and pulled me down. Guilt that was so bad at times I did not want to be here on this earth. But after seeing the pain my parents had dealt with loosing their child and knowing my husband and children also needed me, I just kept hanging on by a thread, day after day like a zombie. But the thread kept on becoming thinner and thinner. I was missing my brother. I needed my brother. I loved my brother and it was just so stupid that we went that long without talking. So Timmie if you are reading this. When I thanked you and told you that you had changed my life this is what I meant. You had no ego about it. You said you did not do anything. But you beautiful lady did. You taught me how to self heal. You taught me it was okay to feel. You helped me see the light again. Through this I have found my happiness gain. I have learned how to feel again. I have learned how to live life again. I am sitting here crying writing this to you because you really did help me change my life for the better. I am me again. And my family is so happy to have me back. And I am happy to be back. Timmie Horvath. Thank you, I send you love and light and Reiki blessings always. You will always hold a special place in my heart.
I did. I forgave myself. I cried and I forgave myself. I released all of the guilt I had carried. I talked out loud to my brother John I told him I was sorry and that I also forgive myself. It was like a lifetime of weight had been lifted off of me and I could breath again. I could see mentally clearly and feel again. I put my feet on the floor and I smiled. I was alive and it was my job to now carry on my brothers’ memory and to keep moving forward on my journey. Now don’t get me wrong. My brother’s death has changed me forever but I am living life again while loving him and remembering him. I honour my Brother John Kenneth Kulba.
My hands were throbbing with heat. I cleared off my kitchen table and I got Derek to jump up on it and lay down for at this time we did not have a reiki table. I went to work on him. He saw colors, green mostly if I can recall and a clock but with the hand going the opposite way. It was very relaxing for him. He could not believe the heat coming off of my hands. Next was our son and daughter. I honestly do not think they have ever laid so still other than while sleeping. They loved it and wanted more of it. They both said they saw colors as well.
Seeing as the Reiki worked on my family and on healing my heart and mind, I was now determined to experiment with it and test it out. This would lead to many other experiments. You see you can Reiki anything from electronics, vehicles, animals, humans, plants etc. Anything you can imagine you can Reiki. My first experiment would be my health. You see just after I was cleared with my cancer. I became pregnant. This led to my second miscarriage. Now for almost two years I had been into the doctor complaining about bone pain, back pain and swelling. They sent me for arthritis tests, blood work etc. Everything always came back clear. After my miscarriage they sent me for an ultra sound. They found I had Medullary Sponge Kidney. Aka Cacchi Ricci Disease. There was night after night of me laying in bed crying from pain not being able to move. The bone pain in my legs was extreme and non stop. My kidneys would swell so bad you could see my skin raised in my back. There was one day when my daughter was a baby and I was on the floor playing with her. I had a very bad morning of back and leg pain but continued to push through. But when I went to go stand up, I could not get off the floor. So, like an inch worm I got over to the couch and pulled her wipes and diapers off of the couch and stayed on the floor with her until Derek got home. Months later I began losing my hair due to the calcium depletion out of my bones. It began falling out in clumps one day and continued to the point I had to shave my head. This was a heart-breaking experience as I felt less feminine. My husband was wonderful though and supported me and even went wig shopping with me. He also encouraged me not to wear the wig and sport my bald head. My mom recommended an acupuncture therapist she had been seeing so I figured I would give it a try. After a few sessions the pain started easing up and can you imagine, my hair started growing back! I continued to go weekly for my appointments and then insurance ran out. That’s when I decided to start my experiment of self healing with Reiki. Since I have been self treating myself, I have only had 3 days of bone and kidney pain! We don’t know exactly how the Reiki works but we do not question it. We just let the universal life force do its work, as we stay thankful and humble.